Demockracy in Action: 2009: Already Worse than 2008

It's my understanding that I informed you--literally, you, the only terrible human being who reads this godawful blog--that I would not be doing a Christmas cartoon this year in an earlier post. As it turns out, I'm pathologically perfidious and suffer from short-term memory loss, because I actually did complete a fifteen (15) page magnum opus on an Adderall-fueled whim, available here for your belated enjoyment. I'd write copious captions, but words are expensive in these dear times, so have fun reading more concise synopses:

Your Cartoonist, being an exceptionally cruel human being, therefore disguised his card as an innocent holiday book

Complete with fabricated accoutrements found in real [elitist] volumes!

As of press time, Your Cartoonist no longer has friends and family to speak of, on account of this terrible Christmas gift/ordeal

Most protests, especially those at the University, are infinitely sadder than the one portrayed here, because no one cares.

...and here's the reason why no one gives half of a dingo's kidney: Because we're all drunk as skunks, constantly.

Oh, hey, remember that country bumpkin/unwashed GOP backwater rube who ran for VP with that crazy old coot? Neither do I.

It's understandably easy to forget about such trivial things when, uh, corporate America is robbing you blind.

A lot has happened to Our Dear Blago since this cartoon. Specifically, he's appointed known nutter Roland Burris to Obama's vacant senate seat, mostly so he could profit off of parading said loon as a clown, for money.

Meanwhile, we will all starve/freeze to death after having squandered our meager to nonexistent savings on vapid holiday purchases.

Don't despair, though, because there won't be any depressing news to report once print finally perishes.

There will also be no small businesses left in 2009. Not pictured: The rest of society reverting to a simple barter economy of perennial privation and incessant savagery.