Stranglehold

India ink on bristol board; digital colors

I've been meaning to appropriate Laocoon and His Sons for a while, and this seemed like a good time as any.

When Anxiety is a Privilege

India ink on bristol board; digital colors

Okay, so some members of the long-term unemployed probably are sufficiently wealthy to invest in the stock market, but the Dow's dismal performance, however dramatic, is still far removed from the day-to-day privations and depredations most of the unemployed have to endure.

The Spirit of Compromise

India ink on bristol board; digital colors

Sure, the specific terms aren't as apocalyptic as anticipated, but one could just as well argue that the GOP's principal objective all along was to erode the administration's public standing (and faith in government as a whole; the Tea Party is another [crazy] story altogether). If that was the case, then they have categorically succeeded, and not for want of help from Mr. Obama. It's a shame that we're the ones who have to pay for it.

Those disembodied heads are supposed to be jellyfish, by the way, since there's no way Pelosi and Reid belong to phylum chordata.

Worst. Christmas. Ever.

Drawn in Photoshop CS5

You stop drawing editorial cartoons for a split second (or two-and-a-half-months, as it were), and the bloody world just up and decides to go to hell in a handbasket. Honestly, I could've just as easily put up a cartoon of Kim Jong Il flipping off the rest of the globe (with smoking artillery-tube fingers, of course), or a dead Irish tiger's stuffed head mounted atop a fireplace, or a tiny Julian Assange kicking Uncle Sam in the crotch--the possibilites are just goddamned nigh limitless.

In more optimistic/less depressing news, I plan on cartooning more frequently now that I've finished those animal illustrations, but I'll be too swamped with work/graduate school applications to attend to this oft-neglected blog for the rest of this week and the next one.

Waiting for Godot 2010

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It's not the end of the world--it just feels that way.

A Jobless Recovery, Illustrated

India ink & watercolor lampblack wash on bristol board (click here to see how this was made)

I'm going to be frank: Job prospects for graphic designers and illustrators seem pretty bleak at this point, not for want of openings so much as decent remuneration. Entry-level jobs and freelance offers aren't necessarily difficult to find, but paid, full-time entry-level positions are definitely more elusive.

Part of the problem, I believe, is that upward mobility in said field tends to be rather slow, which creates a surplus of graduates looking to enter the field. There are also significant barriers to entry for non-majors: Most ad agencies won't even look at, let alone entertain,C.V.s from, say, political science concentrators, and it takes a lot of networking to secure a post in creative departments. Add the recession to the mix, and you can see just how pessimistic everything seems.

Oh, well; it can't last forever...right?

From the Mouth of Imbeciles Comes Something Amusing

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Meet Piyush "Bobby" Jindal: Our dumbest prepubescent Republican governor. Honestly, what on earth has happened to the quality of the opposition? The only comfort this situation affords is the thought that the GOP's persistent idiocy will rob it of any chance of winning in 2010 and 2012.

Provost Rosenbaum Goes to Washington

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I was on the verge of drawing a scathing polemic against the fraternities (read: cesspits of depravity) when Provost Rosenbaum informed the University that twenty-five percent of the endowment had evaporated into the economic ether (just peachy!), whereupon circumstance compelled me to reconsider.

Capitalism 2009

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Alright, I confess: This was more or less an insipid "filler" cartoon, which I'd prefer not to do. At any rate, I have a much better idea for Friday's issue, involving savages. In the meantime, gorge yourself on the government's largesse, but only if you're too big to fail.

In Which Investors Behave Like Buffoons

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A little bird informed me that we've been in a recession since, umm...last December, which is just peachy in light of how our investors behave. At this rate, we'll all be living out of squalid, gutted motorcars in no time.

On an unrelated note, this is [thankfully] the last cartoon of the quarter. Your Cartoonist can now return to his solitary, nasty, poor, brutish, and short life without interruption. In the meantime, expect a Christmas card/cartoon sometime soon.

Cold Comfort

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Under ordinary circumstances, news of a precipitous drop in the price of petroleum would occasion universal joy (unless you're an oil producer). Alas, the recent decrease was precipitated by a drop in demand because we're all jobless hobos eking a living from the ruins of the post-apocalypse. Huzzah for Capitalism!

Anyhow, I was contemplating doing a cartoon on Obama picking Hillary for Secretary of State, but it was just too depressing.

The Wages of Imprudence

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Allow me to explain: I sympathize with the plight of workers in such dear times, but I also understand the pressures dire circumstances impose on employers. I also comprehend the patent absurdity of combating inflation via wage increases, wherefore I find it difficult to accept the latest round of protests. Being underpaid is less-than-desirable, but it's still preferable to unemployment in a recession.

On the Cutting Edge of Automotive Technology

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Behold! Our Captains of the Automotive Industry continue to penetrate new technological frontiers. Soon, every American motor-carriage will run on taxpayer dollars and/or taxpayers, and the Republic will be populated by naught but car manufacturers and their union dead-weights.

Update: Sen. Dodd and company have voiced doubts that the planned $25 billion bailout will pass Congress "this year," so expect a long and difficult fight to secure the future of yet another unproductive, "too big to fail" sector of our crumbling economy.

Too Big to Fail

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...but not too big to free-fall inexorably. Now that the elections are over and therewith liberal guilt, we can focus on the other Important Issues, such as the impending implosion of the economy and a future of ubiquitous want and abjection.

Tumors Upon Endless Tumors

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We all know that John McCain's face is a grotesque series of tumors upon tumors, but did you know that McNasty is also a malignant growth upon the very body politic itself, one capable of naught but regurgitating intellectually bankrupt domestic policies? Anyhow, it suffices to say that I was not at all impressed with John McWarpants' performance Tuesday, though I will concede that he fared better during the foreign policy segment than he did during the first debate. Still, neither candidate provided a satisfactory answer in the said category in my estimation.

The American people, meanwhile, seem to agree that Obama won both debates handily; the McCain campaign rejoined shortly thereafter that the American people are in the tank for Obama, and therefore must be bombed remorselessly into the ground.

On an unrelated topic, this cartoon did not appear in this Friday's issue of the Maroon on account of pressing format issues. So consider this an Online Exclusive!

We'll All Go Together When We Go(!)

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Your cartoonist last reported from a tin shanty, which has since been foreclosed. He is at present preoccupied with raiding other, equally wretched Hoovervilles for sustenance, and spends the rest of his waking hours fending off/hunting rodents. Thank you, House Republicans!

The regular cartoon schedule will resume Friday, October 3rd; expect a glorious cartoon of America's Newest Village Idiot field-dressing herself on national T.V.!

Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Bomb The Economy

For want of my tablet, allow me, then, to describe using these eldritch hieroglyphs you call "words" two cartoons pertaining to the issue of the day (read: The Imminent Apocalypse):

1. An anthropomorphic wrench shaped suspiciously like John McCain hurtles through the air, its grim trajectory suggesting an inevitable collision with two gears emblazoned with the weary visages of Chris Dodd and Barney Frank on one and Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke the other.

2. A nude John McCain [shudder] announcing his having suspended his campaign, his genitalia thankfully veiled by a "Country First" sign.

Old "McNasty" is like everyone's doddering old grandfather who, while possessing no knowledge of electronics, insists on fixing your computer, which he calls a "difference engine." The scene ends with your house in cinders. Unlike most doddering grandparents, however, John McWarpants could--if American are just dumb enough--become the next Commander-in-Chief; imagine how that scene concludes, if you will.

It's Not the Fall that Kills You...

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...it's the sudden deceleration, or devaluation of your stock, rather (or both!). Anyhow, your cartoonist is cold, emaciated, and lives in an unassuming, squalid tin shanty (address: Hooverville, IL), which--thanks to the untiring efforts of our bright Captains of Finance and Industry--is now a palatial estate compared to the TV boxes nine out of ten Americans now inhabit.

The [Searing Hot] Light

On a related note, huzzah for shameless right-wing 9-11 kitsch! Look upon it, sane citizen of the world, and weep.

Boss Hog

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Yes, the caption is a Dukes of Hazzard reference, and no, I'm not proud of it. I'm similarly not proud of the recent farm bill. To hell with the peasantry!